How to eat?

I wonder if other families where just one person has a food allergy have the same quandary as we do ... do we all eat the same?  do we make the one with the allergy watch as we dig into cheesy pasta or do we go without and keep up the pretence of a world where people don't eat dairy and eggs?


I don't know the right answer.  My instinct is for us all to eat the same, for us all to have family meals without the allergens.  Our NHS dietician confirmed that, if armed with the right nutritional knowledge, there was no reason not to do this.  


The Allergic One knows about his ailments, he is able to state 'I am allergic to eggs and milk' if asked what he can and can't eat.  But he is unaware as to what foods might contain 'hidden' allergens.  


Yesterday we went to a lovely play date with some old friends.  One of the snacks laid on by our hostess was chocolate covered swiss roll cakes with cream and jam inside ... what child would not love these?  The Non Allergic Boy asked if he could eat one, which I agreed to, as all of the other kids were tucking in.  His face was a picture as he inhaled 'the good stuff' which he has hitherto not tasted.  He proceeded to eat three of these, and, as a result, understandably, felt no need for a lovingly prepared lunch a few hours later.  I had to explain to The Allergic One why he could not join the other children in their scoff ... I instantly felt guilty for not bringing a more junky snack with me other than Marmite blooming rice cakes.  But this is life ... dairy and eggs are everywhere.  He is quite philosophical about it all, he accepts what I say about what we need to eat to keep him healthy.  It's normal for him.  Thankfully yesterday our kind hostess had also provided a packet of Hobnobs so he was able to indulge in some sort of treat.  


So, I suppose when eating at home he may not feel as if he is 'missing out', as we all eat the same.  It's in the outside world, specifically when he starts school and when we begin to eat out as a family, that he will notice he is in some way different.  It has been great for me to be able to keep him in a safe and secure allergy friendly bubble for the first few years of his life.  But just as all Mums have to let go of their children at some stage I also have to get my head around letting go of the sole responsibility for the management of his allergy and also the management of his feelings about his allergy ... but that's a whole other blog post I'm sure.